We are born knowing that we are infinitely lovable. Babies and toddlers demand love and attention. They ask to be held, they ask for toys and presents and they feel they deserve them. When we’re very young, we simply somehow just “know” that we are amazing and deserve self-love and affection from others.
But then something happens…
We get programmed by kids at school, societal expectations, and various media outlets. We hit puberty and our hormones kick in and suddenly instead of being awesome and lovable, we believe we aren’t good enough, smart enough, or good looking enough.
The good news is, you can achieve self-love, and here are some ideas to get you started:
Make Time for Self-Love
Little kids spend a lot of alone time playing. And during this alone time, they are really connected to their inner world. The “us” in this inner world is the real us, not the us in the business suit or rush-hour traffic or grocery store line. Spend quality time just with you so you can reconnect to the “you” you’ve forgotten. You will probably find that you are more amazing, smarter, and more fun than you ever gave yourself credit for.
Say “No” More Often
When we constantly put others’ needs before our own, we tell our subconscious mind over and over that we do not matter. If you are a people pleaser, get into the habit of saying no to others and yes to yourself more often. Setting boundaries is really powerful way of prioritizing your well-being.
Do What You Love
Maybe when you were young you wanted to be a painter or singer or photographer, but an adult “talked some sense into you.” Well there is no reason you can’t explore these passions as a hobby now. Have a dance party, sing karaoke, buy a silly outfit from the thrift store, or have dessert before dinner. Doing what you love, no matter what others think of it, is one of the best ways to practice self-love and self-care.
Speak Your Truth
When you constantly tell other people what they want to hear instead of telling the truth, you silence yourself. This, in turn, kicks your self-worth to the curb.
Don’t be afraid to always be authentic and truthful. Sure, you’ll sometimes have to find graceful and tactful ways to share your truth with others, but it’s the best way to love yourself.
Get Help with Practicing Self-Love
When our self-worth is low or non-existent, attempting to love ourselves can feel impossible. We tend to be our harshest critics in life. If you suffer from self-esteem issues, speaking with a therapist can help you recognize where these issues came from and how to work through them to truly love yourself.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please be in touch. One of our licensed therapists at Evolution Wellness in Wilmington, NC would be more than happy to discuss how they may be able to help you get your spark back.