Getting your mindset right is the #1 thing you have to conquer if you want to succeed in marriage. As the popular saying goes, “You are your worst enemy and best asset” 😉
From mentoring many 1:1 private clients from all walks of life, I can tell you that the best and most successful clients are those with the right mindset and attitude, who aren’t plagued by incorrect beliefs about what a “healthy” marriage should look like.
Myth #1: “Love should be easy.”
Myth #2: “You need to be together… all the time.”
Myth #3: “Our marriage should be 50/50”
Wrong! I have seen time and again that people have a mental score card about which partner has done more than the other. This idea of EQUALITY really messes with our heads.
I don’t need the pressure of giving as much as my partner is ALL THE TIME. I need to know I have someone who’s got my back whether I’m up or down. There are times when my partner gives more than I do and that’s okay. There are times when he is struggling and I give him some extra energy and support. This is the way humans operate.
Why is believing in these 3 myths problematic?
Because believing in these 3 myths will cripple you from taking action the right action. Your confidence gets affected, you don’t seek guidance, and subsequently, you don’t transform your relationship as a result.
As someone who does therapy for a living, I have seen breakthrough after breakthrough and I know that it is not difficult, people just don’t have the right guidance to succeed when it comes to marriage.
They search for stuff online fruitlessly, and when that doesn’t work, they give up. Then, they blame it on themselves, thinking they are not good or smart enough.
About the Author:
Kayla Reilly MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist and founder of Evolution Wellness, a counseling center in Wilmington, NC. She specializes in relationships and helps people be better in every relationship role they have. When she’s not busy helping people conquer their mental health and relationship wellbeing, you can find her snuggling her dogs, reading, or playing a mean game of poker.
Evolution Wellness is a counseling center in Wilmington, NC that offers individual counseling and couple’s counseling. Our professional counselors are trained to listen with empathy and expertise and offer guidance to facilitate your personal growth.